Learn to Control Your Inner Chatter by Avoiding Mindbenders

Every day, your mind is continually engaged in describing the world to you. For many people, this takes the form of a literal internal monologue. Others may receive these descriptions as verbal fragments, as abstract symbols, or simply as a stream of sensory input without recognizable words or visuals. Regardless of the form it takes, we refer to this communication of sights, sounds, and experiences as “mind chatter.”

Information Overload

Everything you do - from getting dressed in the morning to successfully interacting with colleagues and clients - depends on receiving accurate information about the world around you. Unfortunately, your mind chatter can be an unreliable narrator. In terms of objectivity, it’s more reality show than a documentary, invariably delivering a highly processed version of events filtered through your past experiences, your present needs, and your personal values.

That’s why, on a sales team of six people, all required to make telephone cold calls, you may see six different reactions to the task, from enthusiasm to grim determination to wildly creative attempts at procrastination. Depending on their personal experience, the phone may represent an opportunity, a potential rejection, or even an existential threat. Each person’s unique filter transforms a common, neutral object - a telephone - into an emotionally charged situation requiring immediate attention. All because of what their mind chatter insists is the truth.

Train Your Brain to Reframe

Reframing is the on-trend term for shifting your perspective when negative thoughts or feelings occur, finding positive aspects in difficult situations. It can be a helpful tool for salespeople who encounter doubt, discouragement, or self-defeating self-talk. A classic example of reframing is the popular affirmation “Every ‘no’ gets me closer to ‘yes.’”

Sometimes it’s easy to identify the distorted truths we tell ourselves and reframe them into more positive thoughts. Mind chatter like “If I have to make another presentation to those sourpuss Directors, I’ll just die” is pretty obviously not true, or likely, even if the emotional distress behind it is very real.

Beware of the Mindbenders

But sometimes mind chatter is wily. It presents us with scenarios that, while just as untrue, seem deceptively rational and reasonable. They’re harder to dismiss and resistant to simple shifts in mindset. We call these distortions mindbenders.

In our book Relentless: The Science of Barrier-Busting Sales, we offer numerous examples of mindbenders that can stop you in your tracks on the road to successful selling.

Here are just a few:

Blaming: Holding other people or situations responsible for your behavior.

“How can I be expected to sell anything in this unstable economy? It’s impossible.”

Deferring: Waiting to feel satisfaction or enjoyment until some future moment when everything is perfect.

“Until I’ve outsold everyone else in the company, every day is just a bitter struggle against failure.”

Name-Calling: Sabotaging your efforts by stereotyping others.

“Time to listen to more boring fraternity stories from that snob Joe Smith. What a waste of my time.”

Personalizing: Assuming everything that happens is directly related to you.

“ABC Company isn’t accepting new bids? I must have really screwed up the last one.” 

Polarizing: Seeing challenging situations as having extreme either/or outcomes.

“If I don’t hit my numbers this month, I’m done. Might as well make plans to live out of my car.”

Have you fed yourself any of these notions to cope with fear or discomfort? Have you avoided situations that might have benefited you, personally or professionally, because you believed your mind chatter?

Take Back Control

Learning to tune out counterproductive thoughts takes some time and practice. But it starts with calling out mindbenders for the frauds they are. Here are four simple questions to ask yourself when your mind chatter threatens to sabotage your best interests:

Is what you’re telling yourself flexible? If you find yourself having the same negative reaction to prospecting regardless of differences in the situation, it may be time to challenge the emotional meaning you’ve assigned to it, and give yourself a chance to excel.

Does it permit positive assault on real-world problems? As the old saying goes, “When your only tool is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail.” Negative mind chatter puts you on the defensive, flailing wildly at every setback, and keeps you from finding creative paths around your emotional roadblocks.

Does it help you feel in control? Negative mind chatter controls you. It turns you into a victim, helpless against the onslaught of your emotional reactions. But you can learn to challenge the unfounded assumptions of your personal mindbenders and take charge of your behavior.

Finally, does it allow you to objectively consider options? Through habit and repetition, you may have come to believe that unhealthy reactions to prospecting are your only option. But there is always a better alternative - if you allow yourself to choose it.

We’re here to help. Contact us today to get started!